Before
by Pagen Godess
Summary: It's the first Purge since Steve woke from the ice and he's more than horrified by the events that are about to take place. When Tony joins him to watch the Purge Announcement he ends up getting the story of the first and only time Tony ever participated.


**Before**

The Purge; a twelve hour period of time when all crime was legal. The mere thought of it was enough to make Steve want to shudder. When he'd thought about the future before he'd never thought about something like this happening but here he was in 2012 and The Purge was taking place in less than a half hour. In less than thirty minutes the world around him would go completely and utterly mad. It made Steve sick to think about what it and the worst part was that he couldn't help but think about it.

The closer The Purge had come however the more and more he'd been unable to pry his mind away from thinking about it. And now that is was almost time he couldn't think of anything else. Maybe he should have taken Thor up on his offer of a trip to Asgard. Surely it would have been better than staying here.

It wasn't like it could have been worse. Not that it much mattered because he hadn't been able to bring himself to leave even when an invitation had been offered. Clint and Natasha were on missions and Bruce had taken up one of his wandering spells and was somewhere in Africa playing doctor. And Tony, Tony was still in the tower with him and wasn't going anywhere.

While the billionaire didn't participate he had to at least appear to support The Purge because apparently stock market prices dropped when people thought that Tony Stark didn't support The Purge. So he and Tony were staying in New York for this year's purge. Tony for his company and Steve because he hoped staying would help him understand the reasoning behind the whole process and because he didn't want to leave Tony alone no matter how well protected the tower was. Now however he wasn't so sure if staying would help him understand at all.

"You're thinking about this too much." Tony said as he walked into the main living room a bottle of Scotch in hand as well as a pair of glasses. Some small part of Steve was thankful for the alcohol because he had a feeling that he'd end up wanting it even if he couldn't get drunk anymore. The burn would be nice at least.

"Maybe you're not thinking about it enough." Steve replied as he took one of the glasses from Tony and began spinning it around in his hands.

"Maybe, not." Tony said as he chewed his lip for a moment. "To be fair I did grow up with this and I've had all of my life to get used to it." Steve simply nodded his head in understanding. He couldn't begrudge Tony the knowledge he had due to past experience. Said past experience did bring up a question he felt he had to ask however.

"Have you ever participated in the purge?" Steve asked his voice quiet and filled with a type of hesitance that wasn't usually there. Tony opened his mouth as if to answer before closing it with a snap.

"We're both going to need a drink to answer that question Cap." Tony said as he did just that. For the few seconds it took Tony to fill up their glasses Steve's eyes stayed locked on the golden liquid. When both were full he turned his gaze back to Tony and the faraway look in his eyes.

"I only ever participated once." Tony paused for a moment to take a drink before continuing. "It was The Purge after my parents died and I was mad at the entire world. I was seventeen and already providing most of the blueprints for the weapons SI was producing and I was drinking more than any seventeen year old had the right to drink. It was Rhodey that suggested I go out and destroy some stuff. Not kill anyone of course just do some property damage. I agreed and he agreed to come with me because if he left me alone I'd get myself killed." Tony laughed and shook his head before taking another drink from his glass. Steve smiled at the thought. While property damage wasn't really a good thing it was much better than going out and killing people for no reason other than that you could without getting in trouble. The look in Tony's eyes when he met them again and the sudden silence told him that something else had happened. Something bad if the way Tony was acting was any indication.

"You don't have to…" Steve started only to have Tony interrupt him.

"No, I really do. No one knows about this other than Rhodey but I can trust you. I mean if I can't trust you then who can I trust?" The warmth that Tony's words sparked in Steve then was probably completely inappropriate but he didn't much care. It was nice to know that Tony finally trusted him enough to divulge one of his many secrets.

"Thank you for that." Steve said his voice sincere. Tony offered him a strained smile in return before downing the rest of his Scotch and pouring himself another glass. There was a moment of silence where Tony looked into his glass like it held all the answers of life and where Steve looked at Tony.

"The night of the purge rolled around. I can't remember what month is was that year but I know it was sometime in the fall or early winter because it was cold as fuck out that night. Rhodey and I bundled up and got a couple of baseball bats and a few other things. We had enough on us that we knew people would leave us alone. That the ones who went out to kill would think we were just having trouble finding out target and letting off some steam as we went. The plan worked and we went around and broke a few windows, We set a park bech on fire on accident." Here Tony stopped and chuckled a little.

"Knocked a gas can over by accident while throwing a bunch of trashy newspapers and magazine articles in a garbage can. I'm not sure how but we knocked the garbage can over to and the next things we know 'WOOSH' the bench is on fire." Steve chuckled a little at the story. He and the Howling Commando's had done some stupid things on accident while trying to keep warm during the cold German nights. The worst had been the time Dum Dum had knocked a grenade into their cooking fire. There was silence for a moment as Tony drained the rest of his glass. Steve watched as Tony's eyes rested on the crystal tumbler in his hands before the genius refilled the glass.

"We stayed long enough to be sure the fire wouldn't spread to the rest of the park before leaving. I can remember hearing screams and gunshots echoing all around us as we went. It got to the point where Rhodey pulled out the pistol his old man had lent him for protection and didn't put it away. Amazingly enough the only people we ran into who were out Purging already had their target and only wished us a good night as they walked by." Tony stopped speaking again and downed his drink in a few swallows before refilling his glass for the third time in the past few minutes. Steve himself had barely touched the Scotch in his own glass.

The blonde knew however by the look that was creeping into Tony's eyes and the way his fingers were tapping against the side of the glass, he did the same thing with the reactor when his hands were free, that whatever the brunette was going to say next wasn't anything good. Sadly, Steve had a feeling that he already knew what it was too. He'd asked the question however and he wasn't going to stop Tony from answering just because he didn't want to know about the person that he and Rhodes had been forced to gun down to defend themselves.

"What happened?" Steve asked when Tony made no move to continue speaking. Tony sighed and ran a hand over his face before answering.

"It was an hour or so later. We'd broken a bunch of windows and knocked down a few signs. I felt better than I had in a long time. It felt like most of the weight had been lifted off of my shoulders and I could breathe again. So we were going to head back to my place and wait out the rest of the purge. It couldn't have been more than half a mile back to my place when we heard the woman crying." Here Tony stopped and took a deep shuttering breath. Steve half expected him to down the rest of his drink but much to his surprise Tony didn't. Instead he just looked at the bottom of the glass.

"I don't know who did it. Not that it really mattered but you could tell she'd been attacked and left there to freeze to death or bleed out. She was in bad shape and there wasn't any way we'd be able to get her to a hospital and there wasn't anything else we could do." Tony paused again and swallowed. There were several moments of silence as if Tony were gathering his thoughts or perhaps his courage. Tony sighed and rubbed at his eyes. He might have been wiping away tears before they had the chance to make their way down his face but Steve couldn't tell and even if Tony had been Steve had no plans whatsoever of holding them against the other man.

"We argued about who'd do it for a few minutes. In the end I convinced Rhodey that it'd be better if I did it. I couldn't tell you how I managed it but I did. Rhodey held her hand as I placed the gun against her head and pulled the trigger." Tony voice was almost a whisper by the end of the sentence and Steve wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold the man next to him. He wasn't sure if Tony would let him however and the last thing he wanted to do right now was make the other man mad at him.

"What you did was the right thing." Steve said his voice as comforting as he was able to make it.

"Not many people know this but I killed a man in mercy once during the war. Bucky stood guard for me while I was sick behind a tree after." Tony huffed and for a split second a grin crossed his face before it faded away again.

"Guess we've all done things we weren't proud of." It wasn't a question but a statement. It was true enough of course because that was part of their jobs. They had to do what needed to be done no matter how much they didn't want to at times.

It was better for such things to fall to their hands and on their heads than onto those that were still innocent. Neither of them spoke another word sitting in a semi comfortable silence. The only sound was the clinking of their glasses as they drank and waited for the Purge to begin. As if on some invisible cue (or perhaps it was just Jarvis) the TV flickered to life.

"_The annual Purge has commenced. For the next twelve hours all crime is legal. Emergency services will be unavailable. The government thanks you for your participation."_ The voice that spoke as words scrolled across the screen was mechanical, female, and didn't sound the least bit human. Steve supposed that there was a point to that as well. Steve listened as the voice continued to speak and felt a shiver at the last words that ran across the screen.

"_Blessed be our New Founding Fathers and America, a nation reborn."_

Outside the siren began to sound.

oooooo

I'm not sure if this is any good or not. I've seen The Purge and the only thing I could really think of would be how horrified Steve would be by it. I'm not sure if I got his reaction down or not. I think this might be too tame. Please let me know what you guys think and if you see any huge mistakes. I don't tend to proofread but I will go and fix any huge mistakes that are pointed out to me.

Now I'm off to work on my Big Bang.


End file.
